amg's blog

I say, I say, this is gonna cause more confusion than a mouse in a burlesque show!

AMG Creative has gone green! Woot. Below is a staff-compiled arsenal of ways to combat those evil CO2 emissions that trees need to survive. This list is just a portion of the changes we’ve implemented at AMG Creative. Why? Because we didn’t want to be the last business on the planet to jump on the elitist/morally-superior bandwagon.

1.       Every five minutes we hold our breath for five seconds (we call it the “Five Every Five” plan)

2.       We have canceled our once-weekly, printer-paper bon fires (too expensive and the flames died out too quickly)

3.       Sometimes we turn off the lights when we go home

4.       We flush only once a day

5.       We trap our flatulence in plastic bags from Wal-Mart then put them in the recycle bin

6.       All of us carpool to and from work in a single Smart Car – which is why our hours of operation are 10:30 a.m. to 3 p.m.

7.        In order to save electricity and reduce our carbon footprint, we will institute “Polar Fridays” in the winter months and “Nude Tuesdays” in the summer time

8.       Our office drink is an unsweetened tea made from oak tree bark and grass shavings when the lawn guys come once a week

9.       We stopped burying our empty ink cartridges in the lawn outside the building

10.   To conserve water consumption during work hours, we’re only drinking beer

11.   And to offset the amounts of water used/CO2 emitted during the beer-making process, at all times during the day, one of our employees will be running on a treadmill to create alternative energy to power our computers

12.   And to offset the electricity used by the treadmill, we do communal laundry once a month in the Poudre River